


Here I Am (Alive At Last)

by sunshinexbomb



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Humor, M/M, additional warnings in author’s notes, ghost djoos, weird ghost sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 04:25:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16468682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinexbomb/pseuds/sunshinexbomb
Summary: “You guys have a third roommate right?” Jakub asks as Nicky shows him around the kitchen.“Yeah, Andre,” Nicky says, nodding. “He was actually supposed to move into the attic, but we ended up moving him down to the main floor.”“Why?” Jakub asks, stopping in his tracks.“He didn’t get along with the ghost,” Alex says. Unlike Nicky, heissmiling, but Jakub still can’t tell if he’s kidding.“I think Christian will like you, though,” Nicky says, leaning against the countertop.“And Christian is...the ghost…?” Jakub asks.Nicky and Alex both nod.“The ghost that haunts the attic,” Jakub says slowly.Nicky and Alex both nod again.--In which Jakub falls in love with the ghost living in Nicky and Alex's attic.





	Here I Am (Alive At Last)

**Author's Note:**

> This is absolutely ridiculous and I sincerely apologize. Thanks to TC for the beta and Julie for indulging my nonsense. Clearly none of this is real and the title is from The Used's "Taste of Ink".
> 
> Click to the end notes for additional warnings.

**Attic Bedroom For Rent w/ Pvt Bath - All Utilities Included [$350] (McLean)**

_Spacious, newly renovated attic bedroom with private bathroom and large closet, available in large 4 bedroom, 3 bath McLean private home. House includes common areas such as renovated kitchen with stainless steel appliances, large formal living room, open concept family room, and finished basement._

_All utilities, including cable and Wi-Fi, included with rent. You won’t find an offer like this anywhere else in the highly desirable city located just miles from the Washington DC Metro area._

_About us: recently married couple working in physical therapy and event management with local pro sports teams. Huge fans of hockey, football, soccer, fancy dinners, happy hours, Russian techno, and German Shepherds. Third roommate is recent college grad who shares similar interests. All of us are friendly and sociable and looking for a roommate who will make an easy transition into our home._

_Please call to schedule a showing if interested._

\--

Jakub wakes up in the morning to a headache and a text from Michal that links to a Craigslist ad.

“This is incredibly not subtle,” Jakub says, calling Michal immediately.

“It’s not supposed to be subtle,” Michal answers. He must be at work already because there’s a lot of noise in the background - loud voices and laughter and tinkling music.

“This is like the shadiest ad I’ve ever seen,” Jakub says, rolling over onto his back. He pulls his phone back a little to look at the time. Shit, it’s almost noon. “No one in their right mind would rent out a room in fucking _McLean_ for $350.”

“The pictures look nice,” Michal says like that actually means anything. “You don’t have work today. Go schedule an appointment.”

“There’s gotta be something wrong with that place,” Jakub insists.

“Go check it out,” Michal says. It doesn’t sound like a suggestion.

Jakub sighs, dropping his phone on his chest when Michal hangs up on him. He knew this day was coming - he was only supposed to stay with Michal and Nicola for a couple months after graduation. It’s almost been a year. He’s maybe overstayed his welcome a little.

He sighs again, feeling petulant and dramatic. Jakub calls the number on the Craigslist ad anyway.

\--

The number ends up belonging to a guy named Nicky. He has a flat voice and an accent that Jakub can’t exactly place, but he’s never been too good at that stuff anyway.

“I’ll be around after 2PM,” Nicky tells him. “So will Alex. We can give you a tour of the place - if you like it, it’s yours today.”

Jakub still finds the whole thing highly suspicious. There’s a nagging feeling in the back of his head that the place seems too good to be true.

He agrees to go anyway. “Sure, I can be there at 2:30.”

Nicky hangs up without a goodbye.

\--

**To: Michal Kempny  
** _i’m about to check out the place in mclean. if i don’t call back in a couple hours assume i’ve been murdered._

**From: Michal Kempny  
** _You’re not gonna get murdered. Let me know how it is._

**To: Michal Kempny  
** _you’re gonna feel super guilty when MY BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS._

**From: Michal Kempny  
** _Stop being so dramatic. Send pictures._

\--

The drive out to McLean is not that long. Jakub gets there before 2:30 and spends at least ten minutes in the car, staring up at the house. It’s huge and fucking _nice_ , much nicer than Michal and Nicola’s place.

Jakub can’t shake the gut feeling that something’s wrong.

There’s a knock on Jakub’s driver-side window, and he jumps out of his skin, heart beating irregularly fast. Jesus Christ, he wasn’t expecting someone to come out here.

“Are you Jakub? Because if not, my husband is gonna call police,” says the guy standing outside Jakub’s window. He has salt and pepper hair and the most fucked up nose Jakub has ever seen. It works for him, though.

“Uh, yeah, sorry,” Jakub says hastily, unbuckling his seat belt and nearly tumbling out of the car.

Jakub’s not a small guy - he used to play hockey and it still shows. This guy is huge, though, he has inches and at least 15 kilos on Jakub and when he smiles it shows off a missing front tooth. Maybe he used to play hockey also.

“I’m Alex,” he says, holding out his hand and Jakub takes it.

“Jakub,” he replies, even though Alex already knows that. “Um, I talked to a Nicky on the phone - is that your husband?”

Alex nods with a dopey grin and soft eyes. It said in the ad that Nicky and Alex are newlyweds - Jakub wonders if they’re still in the honeymoon phase or if they’re always like this.

“Anyway, Nicke is inside,” Alex says. “Do you want to see room first or rest of house?”

“The room, I think,” Jakub says. “If you don’t mind, of course.”

“No problem, babe.”

It’s one of the first cold days of fall, the weather dry and windy as they walk up the driveway to the front door. The lawn is huge and immaculately kept, no leaves in the grass despite the huge, bare oak tree out front. There’s carved pumpkins on the front porch, one with a sloppy jack o'lantern face that looks like it was done by a child, one with an immaculately done Capitals logo, and one with what Jakub thinks is supposed to be a ghost.

Inside is warm and toasty, the large entryway filling up with afternoon sunlight. It doesn’t take long for Jakub to start feeling too hot under his thick coat.

“Nicke!” Alex bellows, causing Jakub to jump again. His voice is loud and it echoes through the large house.

“Stop fucking shouting,” someone says from down the hall. The guy it belongs to is tall and blond and slightly intimidating looking despite his knee high socks and basketball shorts.

“I’m guessing you’re Jakub?” he asks, and Jakub nods.

“Uh, yeah. And you’re Nicky, right? Who I talked to on the phone?”

Nicky takes Jakub’s outstretched hand. “Yeah. Why were you just sitting in your car like a weirdo? I was about to call the police.”

Jakub flushes. “Sorry, I was just admiring the house. It’s nice.”

“You’ve barely seen it,” Nicky says, raising a pale eyebrow.

“I can already tell it’s nicer than where I am now,” Jakub says.

Nicky laughs at that. “Well, let’s take a look around then, yeah?”

“Jakub wants to start with the room,” Alex says, placing his hand low on Nicky’s back. Nicky leans against him easy as anything.

“Sure,” Nicky shrugs. “Hope you don’t mind taking the stairs.”

\--

Jakub’s glad he’s in shape because there’s a lot of fucking steps up to the attic.

The higher they go, the colder the air gets, and Jakub wonders if it’s because of the elevation or because the heating’s busted. Maybe that’s why the rent is so low.

“Sorry, it’s always like this,” Nicky says when he notices Jakub pulling his coat tighter around himself. “We can get you a portable heater or something, though, if you want.”

“I can deal, probably,” Jakub says, even though his nose and fingers are already freezing.

The room is fucking sweet. It’s fully furnished, which wasn’t mentioned in the advertisement and the bathroom is en-suite. The walls are freshly painted and the ceilings are pretty high for an attic room.

“You’re sure this room is only $350 a month?” Jakub asks suspiciously, walking around the perimeter. He doesn’t get it.

“Yup,” Alex says, popping his lips on the ending syllable. “Including utilities. Best deal ever, right?”

“What’s wrong with it?” Jakub asks. There’s a window overlooking the large backyard that leads into the woods.

“It’s haunted,” Nicky says with no inflection.

Jakub turns around, staring at him blankly, but there’s no hint of a smile on Nicky’s face. Jakub has no way of knowing if he’s kidding.

“Sure,” Jakub says, laughing nervously.

“Wanna see rest of house?” Alex asks and Jakub nods.

As he’s walking towards the door, Jakub feels a gust of wind pass by, even though the window is shut tightly. It makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and a shiver run down his spine.

He ignores it and follows Alex and Nicky down the stairs.

\--

The house is fantastic, open and sleek and modern, but it still feels lived-in. There’s hoodies strewn across chairs, blankets in piles on the couch, a couple of empty beer bottles and Gatorade containers strewn about that haven’t made it into the trash yet. Jakub likes that it doesn’t feel stuffy, that he could probably walk around in his boxers or leave his coffee mug out on the kitchen table without being yelled at.

“You guys have a third roommate right?” Jakub asks as Nicky shows him around the kitchen. There’s a huge, fully stocked fridge and fancy, granite countertops.

“Yeah, Andre,” Nicky says, nodding. “He’s probably around your age. He was actually supposed to move into the attic, but we ended up moving him down to the main floor.”

“Why?” Jakub asks, stopping in his tracks.

“He didn’t get along with the ghost,” Alex says. Unlike Nicky, he _is_ smiling, but Jakub still can’t tell if he’s kidding.

“I think Christian will like you, though,” Nicky says, leaning against the countertop. There’s a stray blonde curl poking out of his hat that Alex tucks behind his ear. Nicky barely reacts.

“And Christian is...the ghost…?” Jakub asks.

Nicky and Alex both nod.

“The ghost that haunts the attic,” Jakub says slowly.

Nicky and Alex both nod again.

“He’s not that bad,” Nicky says, shrugging. “But he can get sort of bitchy sometimes. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Jakub has no idea what the fuck is going on because Nicky and Alex both look completely serious. He wonders if this is some kind of prank, if Nicky is going to sneak into his room in the middle of the night to film his reaction while Alex jumps out of the closet with a sheet over his head. The whole thing is fucking weird.

“Okay,” Jakub says. “Can I see the basement?”

“Sure,” Alex says, “right this way.”

Jakub feels goosebumps run up his arm as they exit the kitchen even though the heat is on.

\--

In the end, Jakub takes the room.

Alex is right - the deal is way too good to pass up.

\--

**From: Michal Kempny  
** _Did the guys at that house murder you?_

**To: Michal Kempny  
** _no, but apparently there’s a ghost in the attic that might._

**From: Michal Kempny  
** _Did you take it then???_

**To: Michal Kempny  
** _i move in on saturday_

**From: Michal Kempny  
** _Thank fucking god._

**To: Michal Kempny  
** _:(_

\--

Jakub doesn’t have a lot of stuff and Michal is all too eager to help him pack and move his shit out. Jakub would probably be a bit offended that Michal’s kicking him out like this if they weren’t so close.

“What are your new roommates like?” Michal asks as they drive up to McLean together. They’re moving Jakub’s stuff in and then Jakub’s driving Michal back to Arlington so the two of them and Nicola can all have dinner together before Jakub’s out of their hair.

“Weird,” Jakub says. “They told me the rent is so cheap because the attic is haunted.”

“They were joking, right?” Michal asks, laughing. He has a nice laugh, crinkly-eyed and loud. Jakub’s going to miss seeing him every day. He’s going to miss curling up on the couch with him and Nicola and he’s going to miss Nicola’s food. He doesn’t even know if Nicky or Alex can cook, because Jakub certainly can’t.

“I think so?” Jakub says. It’s more a question than anything. “I really couldn’t tell.”

“Well, I guess you’re about to find out,” Michal shrugs.

“If a ghost, like, turns my face inside out in the middle of the night, I’m blaming you,” Jakub says.

“If a ghost turns your face inside out, it’ll be an improvement,” Michal replies.

Jakub flips him off before turning onto Nicky and Alex’s street.

\--

Nicky and Alex are both at work when they get there, but Andre’s home. He’s around Jakub’s age with a big smile and dimples and curly hair. His hand is soft when Jakub takes it.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Andre,” he says. His accent is similar to Nicky’s, but Jakub still has no idea where they might be from.

With Andre’s help, it doesn’t take long to get Jakub’s things upstairs. They unload and unpack the essentials within a couple hours, and Andre invites them downstairs for a beer.

“So, is there really a ghost in the attic?” Jakub asks, and Andre chokes on his drink, a bit of it dribbling down his chin in surprise.

“They told you that?” he asks warily.

Jakub and Michal exchange a glance and nod.

“Christian isn’t that bad,” Andre says slowly. “He’s just - I don’t know how to explain it. We just didn’t get along too well, I guess. At least not as roommates.”

“Does he pay rent?” Michal asks with a straight face. “Is that why the room is so cheap?”

“No,” Andre says, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “He’s a ghost. Where would he get money?”

Jakub and Michal exchange another glance. This is just getting more and more confusing.

“Right, that was obviously a stupid question,” Michal says.

“It’s cool - I didn’t really get it either at first,” Andre shrugs, clearly not picking up on Michal’s sarcasm. “Hopefully he doesn’t give you too much trouble tonight, but there is an extra bedroom if he does.”

Jakub wonders how long this joke is going to go on.

\--

It’s late by the time Jakub gets back from dinner at Michal’s, but there’s a light on in the family room when Jakub comes inside and toes his shoes off in the entryway.

It’s Alex, nose bent over a thick book at the coffee table. There’s a highlighter cap in his mouth as he pours over the text.

“What are you doing?” Jakub asks and Alex startles a little, the highlighter cap dropping into his hand.

“Oh, hey, you’re home,” Alex says, smiling when he realizes it’s just Jakub. “I was studying for my grad school class. You have fun with old roommates?”

“Yeah, it was good, I’m exhausted now though,” Jakub says. “Good food makes me sleepy.”

“I get that,” Alex laughs. “Head up to bed then. Let me or Nicke know if Christian gives you any trouble.”

Jakub doesn’t know how to respond to that so he just smiles weakly, heading up the stairs.

Just like the other day, the air feels colder the further up Jakub climbs. He zips up his hoodie as he he reaches the door, wondering if he should get a space heater like Nicky suggested.

The thought leaves his mind as soon as he walks into his room.

“What the _fuck?_ ” Jakub screams.

There’s someone in his bed who looks at him in irritation. “Why the fuck are you yelling?” he asks. “God, you’re already worse than Andre.”

The guy’s accent sounds like Nicky and Andre’s but he’s paler than either of them with brown hair and sharp features. He’s dressed casually, just a white t-shirt and straight legged jeans. Jakub has no idea who he is.

“Who the fuck are you? Why are you in my bed?” Jakub asks, stepping backwards a little.

“This is my bed, actually,” the guy says. “Did Nicke and Alex not tell you?”

Jakub looks at the guy blankly.

“Are you...Christian?”

“Yeah, who else would I be?” Christian says slowly like he’s explaining something to a child.

Jakub has no idea what the fuck is happening right now. If this really is a prank, it’s a fucking elaborate one.

“And you’re...a ghost…?”

Christian sighs in irritation. He gets off the bed. There’s no indent in the mattress when he does. He walks - no, not walks, exactly, it’s a bit more fluid than that - until he’s right in front of Jakub.

Jakub flinches when Christian brings his hand up. He touches Jakub’s face and all Jakub feels is cold. Christian is fucking freezing.

“Holy shit, you’re a ghost,” Jakub yelps, jumping backwards.

“Jesus Christ, you’re gonna fall down the steps,” Christian says, grabbing out at Jakub. He pulls Jakub back in before he trips. It’s the weirdest thing Jakub’s experienced because he can’t _feel_ Christian, just cold air and a chill down his spine, but there’s definitely something pulling him forward.

Jakub’s heart is racing. There’s a fucking ghost in his room. A ghost that just saved his life.

“I thought everyone was pulling my leg about the ghost thing,” Jakub says weakly, trying to catch his breath. “What the fuck-?”

Christian shrugs, heading back toward the bed. He takes the same side again, closer to the door, which at least is nice, because Jakub usually likes to sleep by the window.

“So, are you like, here all the time?” Jakub asks, stepping farther inside. He’s still standing hesitantly by the door because he doesn’t know what else to do.

“Like in this room?” Christian asks, and Jakub nods. “No, I can move around wherever in the house. But this was my room when I lived here, so I usually hang around here.”

“Did you die here?” Jakub asks, his voice a bit higher than usual.

“No,” Christian says with a weird look. “It’s kind of rude to ask someone how they died, man.”

“Sorry,” Jakub says quickly. “I don’t know uh - ghost etiquette? Like, I’ve never met one before or anything.”

“That’s fine,” Christian says. “Most people haven’t.”

“So, do I - I mean what do we - how does this work exactly?” Jakub asks. He is so out of his depth here.

“I’ll stay out of your way for the most part,” Christian says, shrugging. “I really just messed with Andre because it was easy. But I do like to sleep in the bed.”

“You sleep?” Jakub asks. “Like actually sleep?”

Christian nods, stretching out on his side of the bed and closing his eyes. “Yeah, I don’t dream, though, which kind of sucks. But I do sleep. And I can touch things, sort of. But I don’t eat or like piss or anything. I still haven’t figured everything out. I’ve only been dead about forty years or so.”

“You’re forty?” Jakub says in surprise. “You don’t look older than-”

“Twenty four?” Christian asks. “That’s how old I was when I died.”

“I was gonna say nineteen,” Jakub says and Christian flicks him off.

“Fuck off, I don’t look nineteen. But yeah, I’m twenty four, and if I’d been alive I’d probably be like sixty something, I guess.”

“Good thing you died while you were still hot, huh?” Jakub jokes weakly, and Christian just rolls his eyes.

“I mean I’d rather not be dead at all, but I guess.”

Jakub doesn’t know how to respond, so he doesn’t, instead saying, “Um, I’m pretty tired, I’m gonna like-” he waves uselessly towards the door to the bathroom, hoping that Christian will understand.

“Go for it,” Christian says, closing his eyes again. He looks peaceful like this.

Jakub stands around awkwardly for a second before grabbing some clothes out of his drawers. He hovers by the bathroom door for a second before asking, “Do you cuddle in your sleep?”

Christian opens his eyes, raising his eyebrows. “No, not really.”

“Okay,” Jakub says. He wasn’t sure what kind of answer he was looking for.

He hovers for a few more seconds before finally going into the bathroom to wash up.

\--

Jakub wakes up in the middle of the night fucking freezing. He shouldn’t be this cold, not in October at least. He grabs uselessly at his duvet, but it doesn’t budge and when he opens his eyes blearily, he startles.

He’d forgotten Christian was there.

Christian sleeps with his mouth open, eyelashes fanned out across his cheek. Half his body is on top of the duvet, the other half sprawled across Jakub. His arm is across Jakub’s chest and his leg hooked around Jakub’s hip. Jakub doesn’t really feel anything in the places where they’re touching other than an intense chill.

Apparently Christian is a fucking liar because he does cuddle in his sleep.

\--

It turns out that sharing a room with Christian is not all that different from sharing a room with anyone else. Except for the part where sometimes Christian can make himself invisible and Jakub has no idea whether he’s there or not. But other than that, everything is pretty normal.

Sometimes Jakub comes home and Christian is watching TV in the living room. He likes to read books with Alex in the family room and he likes to pester Nicky in the kitchen.

Nobody treats Christian like he’s dead, so Jakub doesn’t either.

Jakub likes the house. He likes Nicky and Alex and he likes Andre and how well they all get along. He loves how cheap the rent is and how he doesn’t have to worry about food or bills or anything really other than his own personal expenses.

And Jakub likes Christian who is funny and sweet and kind when he’s in a good mood. He even likes Christian when he’s in a bad mood because he gets pouty and sullen and Jakub won’t deny that it’s kind of cute. Plus, Christian usually takes his bad mood out by pranking Andre which is always a laugh.

So, yeah, overall, Jakub thinks the move was the right decision.

\--

Christian’s sprawled across the bed one afternoon reading a book when Jakub asks, “What does it feel like when someone touches you?”

Christian looks up. His eyes are heavy, like he was maybe dozing off, but he blinks it away. “I don’t know. It feels - warm. Like, I don’t realize how cold I am until I touch one of you and then it’s like - I guess it feels a bit more like being alive.”

Christian’s voice is wistful and it makes Jakub sad, a heavy stone settling in his gut. “Is that why you like cuddling so much?”

“I don’t cuddle,” Christian says. He can’t blush, exactly, Jakub’s found, but his cheeks turn a little less pale.

“You do,” Jakub insists.

Christian doesn’t argue anymore, just goes back to his book.

\--

**From: Michal Kempny  
** _How’s your ghost boyfriend doing?_

**To: Michal Kempny  
** _he’s my roommate not my boyfriend._

**From: Michal Kempny  
** _I can’t believe you’re going along with this joke now._

**To: Michal Kempny  
** _it’s not a joke!!!! look!!!!!_

**To: Michal Kempny  
** _[Image Attachment]_

**From: Michal Kempny  
** _…This is literally just a picture of your empty room._

**To: Michal Kempny  
** _what the fuck. i swear he’s here!!!!!!!!!!_

**From: Michal Kempny  
** _Whatever, Jakub._

\--

“Did you know you don’t show up in pictures?” Jakub asks.

“Why are you taking pictures of me, you creep?” Christian asks, looking up from his book. He reads a lot, and Jakub wonders if it’s because he likes it or if there’s just not much else for him to do. Jakub doesn’t even remember the last time he picked up a book.

“My old roommate, Michal, doesn’t believe you’re real.”

“Most people don’t believe in ghosts,” Christian says. “And people only see what they want to see.”

Jakub doesn’t know what that means exactly.

“Do you have pictures of Michal?” Christian asks. “You talk about him a lot and I don’t have like Facebook or whatever so I don’t really know much about your life other than what you tell me.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jakub says. He gets up from his desk, crawling into bed next to Christian. Goosebumps spread across his arm when Christian’s grazes against it. “Here.”

Jakub shows Christian pictures of Michal and Nicola, of his co-workers, of his family and friends back in the Czech Republic. He talks a bit about all of them, tells Christian stories that make him laugh hard enough that little crinkles form around his eyes. Jakub really, really likes Christian’s laugh.

“I had a twin sister,” Christian says when he passes Jakub’s phone back to him. “Or, I do, I guess. She’s still alive, I think.”

“Do you miss her?” Jakub asks and Christian bites down on his lip.

“Yeah,” he says heavily, “and my parents. And my friends. And my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” Jakub asks curiously. He hadn’t really thought about what Christian was like when he was alive, who his family was or who he surrounded himself with. Jakub can’t really imagine Christian outside of the walls of this house - the ideas seem strange and foreign.

The pseudo-blush spreads across Christian’s cheeks again. “Uh, yeah. His name was Madison. We were together for a few years. I don’t - I have no idea what happened to him after I passed away. It kind of hurt too much to think about.”

“That sucks, dude,” Jakub says, knowing that the sentiment doesn’t really cover things at all. It seems trite and insincere in the face of literal death, but Jakub doesn’t know what else to say.

“Yeah, it does,” Christian says. “But I guess as far as things go, I could’ve had it a lot worse.”

Jakub has no idea what could be worse than this, being around but not being able to feel, to see his friends and families and enjoy the things that make living worthwhile. Though, he supposes there must be something else out there.

\--

Christian may deny that he likes to cuddle, but Jakub learns quickly that Andre would never do the same.

“ _Djoooos_ ,” Andre sings, hugging Christian from behind. He doesn’t seem to care that hugging Christian is literally like hugging an icicle.

Christian makes a soft noise under his breath in response, but Jakub doesn’t miss the way he sinks against Andre. Christian’s trying hard to hide his smile and failing desperately. Andre seems to have that effect on people.

“Ovi won’t play Mario Kart with me because he says he’s studying,” Andre whines.

“Maybe you should let him study then,” Christian says, simply. He’s sitting on the couch, legs folded up in front of him, reading again.

Jakub’s in the single armchair, curled up with his phone. It’s a lazy kind of day, the rain pouring down outside. Alex is studying and Nicky is working from home for the afternoon and Christian and Jakub have been sitting together in the living room for what feels like hours now.

“You guys are so boring,” Andre pouts. He sits at the end of the couch, and Christian tucks his socked feet underneath Andre’s thighs.

Andre ends up taking out his phone also, laughing occasionally and showing Christian pictures and videos that he finds particularly amusing. Jakub tries not to feel jealous at the way that Christian leans up against Andre or how easily Andre seems to make him smile.

\--

Jakub ends up in a sour mood by the end of the night without really knowing why. He feels restless, like all the lazing around has left him with too much energy.

He tries jerking off in the shower, but it only helps until he remembers how long it’s been since he’s felt a hand other than his own on his dick. He’s still irritated when he crawls into bed.

“Are you okay?” Christian asks. “You seem - off.”

Jakub jumps. He didn’t even realize Christian was there. Jakub’s not sure if he even _was_ there the whole time, if maybe he’d just appeared from the living room where Jakub had last seen him with Andre or if maybe he’d just gone all invisible like he does sometimes.

“Don’t fucking do that, you scared the shit out of me,” Jakub snaps. He pulls the covers tight around himself and turns his back to Christian.

“Don’t what? Talk to you?” Christian asks. Jakub can’t see him, but he sounds irritated.

“No, don’t like, just appear out of nowhere like that. It’s fucking weird.”

Christian’s quiet for so long that Jakub thinks he’s disappeared again. But then he mumbles, “Whatever.”

Jakub almost doesn’t notice that when Christian turns around, the bed shifts underneath them.

\--

Jakub wakes up cold. The space heater Nicky got him must be working, though, because his chest doesn’t feel like ice even though Christian’s head is rested against it.

Jakub has work that morning, but he doesn’t want to particularly get up. It’s still raining outside, and he feels like a dick for being so short with Christian the night before. Without really thinking about it, Jakub runs his hand down Christian’s back, like he’s rubbing warmth into his skin. Touching Christian is always weird, because he really doesn’t feel like anything, but Christian reacts to it, shivering slightly before blinking up at Jakub.

“Shit, sorry,” Christian says, turning onto his back.

“It’s fine,” Jakub says softly. “You end up like this every morning.”

“I don’t,” Christian insists, his voice rough.

“You do,” Jakub says.

Christian rubs at his eyes, sitting up. “Well, sorry. Hope it’s not fucking weird to wake up cuddling with a ghost.”

So, that means Christian’s still mad at him, and Jakub can’t blame him. Jakub reaches out hesitantly, laying a hand on the back of Christian’s neck. He can almost pretend that Christian feels solid under his fingers.

“No, I was an asshole last night, I’m sorry,” Jakub says. “I shouldn’t have said that. You’re not weird you’re just-”

“Dead?” Christian scoffs, but he sinks into Jakub’s touch, closing his eyes when Jakub rubs circles into the back of his neck.

“No, you’re just - you. You’re just Christian.” Jakub’s not sure exactly what that means, but it feels like the right thing to say.

Christian hums, a soft, low noise in the back of his throat. Jakub accepts it as forgiveness.

\--

On his way to work, Jakub realizes he never plugged in the space heater the night before.

\--

Jakub comes home to Nicky cooking something in the kitchen. He has no idea what it is, but it smells great, and Jakub follows the scent, his stomach grumbling.

“Nicky, I’m so hungry,” Jakub whines and Nicky just shrugs.

“Fridge is right there,” he says, cocking his head towards the other end of the kitchen and Jakub groans.

“Can you feed me?” Jakub asks, pouting and Nicky snorts out a laugh.

“No chance. Dinner’s for me and Alex, not for you and Andre.”

“You can’t leave me and Andre to our own devices, we’ll die.”

“Good, then Christian will have some company.”

“ _Nicky_.” Jakub slumps down uselessly in his chair.

Nicky must be in a good mood, because he takes pity on Jakub, fixing him up a sandwich as he lets dinner simmer on the stove. He takes a seat next to Jakub at the table also, which Jakub doesn’t mind until he starts asking questions.

“You and Christian have been hanging out a lot recently,” Nicky says, staring at Jakub intensely.

Jakub shifts in his chair, uncomfortable under Nicky’s gaze. “I guess. I mean he lives in my room, so.”

“Yeah, but he seems different around you.”

Jakub thinks about the last couple of days, about the bed moving underneath them, how much warmer the attic has been, about Christian’s skin and how solid it had felt this morning.

He has no idea what any of it means.

“I guess,” he says finally. “We just click, I think. I like him.”

Nicky’s gaze is still boring into him. “Okay,” Nicky says finally. “I think it’s good for Christian, you being around. He seems happier.”

Jakub has no idea what that means either.

\--

Christian’s not around much the next couple of days. Or, Jakub supposes he must be around somewhere, since he can’t really leave the house, but Jakub doesn’t see him unless it’s at night when they’re getting ready for bed.

In Christian’s absence, Jakub spends more time in Andre’s room. It’s the opposite of the attic in that it’s always boiling hot, even though the heat isn’t turned up all that high, but it’s cozy and Jakub likes sprawling out on Andre’s bed and playing the new NHL game with him until one of them gives up in frustration.

“Have you seen Christian lately?” Jakub asks one night in between games. Andre just shrugs.

“Not really,” Andre says. “I usually don’t see him as much as you anyway.”

“He hasn’t been hanging out with me much,” Jakub says, trying to keep the whine out of his voice. He doesn’t want to sound needy.

“Maybe he’s around and we just can’t see him?” Andre says. “He likes to disappear sometimes. Who knows, he might even be here in this very room,” he drops his voice at the end, like the voiceover in a shitty horror show for kids.

“Shut up,” Jakub says, kicking out at where Andre’s sitting at the foot of the bed, but he’s laughing.

“Don’t worry about it too much,” Andre says, grabbing Jakub’s ankle. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“I don’t like when he’s not around,” Jakub says pouting and Andre laughs.

“What, do you have a crush on Christian?”

Jakub feels heat rise to his face and something sink in his stomach. No - no, definitely not. He can’t have a crush on Christian. That’s - no. Nope. He -

“Fuck, I think I have a crush on Christian.”

Andre looks at him, worry creasing his brow. “Dude,” he says.

Jakub groans, burying his face in his hands. “ _Fuck_.”

“Dude, Christian is _dead_.”

“I _know_ that Andre, thank you,” Jakub says. “Ah, fuck, I have a crush on a ghost.”

“That blows, Jakub,” Andre says, face line with sympathy.

Jakub groans, because, yeah. That really fucking blows.

\--

Christian’s there in the room again when Jakub comes out of the shower, which is kind of unfortunate because Jakub’s just in a towel and now he knows that he has a boner for Christian and his dumb cute ghost face.

“Hey,” Christian says. He’s just lying there, his eyes closed, but he turns to look at Jakub with a smile when Jakub comes out of the bathroom.

“Um, hi,” Jakub says, his face turning red. He knows how bad he blushes sometimes, how it can crawl down his neck and chest and he hopes that he can just pass it off as heat from the shower. “Where have you been all day?”

“Just around,” Christian says, waving his hand vaguely. “Where have you been?”

“With Andre, mostly,” Jakub says. His towel starts to slip a little from around his hips, and he grabs at it, holding on tightly.

“Oh,” Christian says. Jakub thinks his face might fall a bit, but it’s hard to tell when Jakub’s trying not to look directly at Christian.

Christian is looking at Jakub though. Not just looking, but _staring_ and obviously at that. His eyes are dark and Jakub’s startled to realize that Christian’s face is an incredibly light shade of pink.

“You’re blushing,” Jakub says, his mouth opening a bit in surprise.

“I can’t blush, I’m dead,” Christian says, but the pink turns faintly darker. “ _You’re_ blushing,” he snaps back childishly.

“Yeah because you’re staring at me while I’m fucking naked,” Jakub says and Christian makes a choked noise of surprise.

“I’m not _staring_ -”

“You totally are,” Jakub says. Christian’s still on the bed, sitting up now and Jakub’s still hanging around uselessly by the door. He wants to get closer to Christian, wants to see if there’s really heat in his face making it change colors. “Have you ever kissed someone? Like, after you died?”

“I can’t,” Christian says, his voice smaller than before. “I mean, I could, I guess. But I don’t think they’d feel anything.”

“Can I kiss you?”

Christian bites his lip nervously. He nods.

Jakub goes to cross the room, but Christian beats him to it, appearing just inches in front of him. Hesitantly, Jakub touches Christian’s face, fingers trailing across his high cheekbones. Christian sighs in contentment. He’s still cold, but not as much as usual and for once, Jakub can feel _something_ when he touches him. Jakub traces the lines of Christian’s face, down the bridge of his nose, across his mouth, just to make sure this is really happening.

“Jakub,” Christian says, his voice almost a whine and Jakub leans forward, kissing him.

It’s - well, it’s weird. Christian’s mouth is cold, sending a shiver down Jakub’s spine. He can feel Christian’s lips moving against his, but it’s a whisper of a touch, like they’re just grazing his skin instead of kissing him fully. Jakub tilts his head, tries to feel more of Christian, wishing that when Christian presses against him, he felt a bit more real.

“Was that weird?” Christian asks, moving away just a bit.

“A little,” Jakub admits. “But it wasn’t bad.”

Jakub’s dick is hard already, even though he hasn’t really been touched, and Christian must notice, because he frowns.

“I can’t like - I don’t think I can get you off,” Christian says, disappointed.

“I can - do you want to like - watch?” Jakub asks and that very faint blush spreads across Christian’s cheek again when he nods.

Jakub kisses him again, more tongue and teeth this time. Jakub’s not sure if Christian really feels more solid against him the more they touch, or if it’s just in his head, but it’s enough to make his dick twitch underneath his towel.

They move to the bed, still kissing. Christian runs his hands down Jakub’s chest, leaving a trail of goosebumps down his wake, but when he unrolls the towel from around Jakub’s hips and lets it fall to the floor, Jakub feels hot all over.

“You look so good,” Christian says, voice deep and a little raspy. “God, I wish I could touch you-”

“You can - we can try-” Jakub says, but Christian shakes his head.

“We’ll figure that out next time, just, come on, touch yourself for me right now.”

Jakub doesn’t need to be told twice.

His dick is so, so hard that just the first touch from his hand is a bit of relief. Jakub wishes it was Christian touching him, and he wonders what it would feel like to have Christian’s slimmer fingers wrapped around him instead. He strokes himself, slowly at first until Christian groans.

“Faster,” Christian says and Jakub complies.

There’s pre-come leaking from the head of Jakub’s dick and he uses it to ease the friction of skin on skin. Jakub’s breathing turns heavier the faster he strokes himself, his hips stuttering slightly as he bucks into his own hand.

“Hey, look at me,” Christian says. Jakub didn’t even realize he’d closed his eyes.

When he opens them, it’s to Christian staring at him intensely. There’s definitely color in his cheeks now and he’s pressing down on the front of his jeans, applying pressure to his own dick. Jakub wasn’t even sure if he could get hard.

“Can you come for me?” Christian asks. “You look so good, Jakub, but I want you to-”

“Yeah,” Jakub gasps out and it doesn’t take long, just a few more strokes until he feels the tightening in his balls and he’s coming all over his chest and stomach.

Christian makes a low sound, deep in his throat before he’s on top of Jakub, kissing him again. Jakub can feel it this time, a slight weight on top of him, not as heavy as someone like Christian should feel, but it’s something.

“Your dick is hard,” Jakub says in surprise when he feels it against his hip.

“I didn’t even know it could do that,” Christian says honestly.

“You can feel it when I touch you, right?” Jakub asks, trailing his hand down Christian’s chest, unbuttoning his jeans.

Christian nods, and that’s all the permission Jakub needs to get Christian’s dick out of his pants.

Christian’s dick is long and slender like the rest of him, and it curves toward his belly, the head of it a faint pink. Jakub strokes him, fast the whole way through. Christian buries his face in the curve of Jakub’s neck. It’s strange because Jakub can’t feel Christian’s breath, but he can hear his gasps and feel the rise and fall of his chest.

When Christian orgasms it’s just with a shudder and Jakub’s name falling off his tongue. His face is nearly red and his body is almost warm.

For a second, it’s easy to pretend he’s actually still alive.

“Fuck, I’ve never done anything like that before,” Christian says, rolling off of Jakub and lying on his back.

“I can definitely say I haven’t either,” Jakub says and Christian grins at him, laughing.

“What you don’t go around fucking ghosts all the time?”

“No, can’t say I do,” Jakub replies and he laughs too, turning into Christian’s side.

When they curl up around each other to sleep that night, Jakub doesn’t feel cold at all.

\--

Jakub’s the last one up in the morning and he’s met with curious stares from everyone as he comes downstairs to the kitchen.

“Why are you all looking at me?” Jakub asks as he flicks on the electric kettle.

Nicky and Alex and Andre all look at each and then Nicky and Andre both look at Alex. Alex clears his throat awkwardly.

“Did you and Christian have weird ghost sex last night?”

Jakub just barely avoids dropping the mug in his hands, saving it right before it tumbles to the counter.

“Um,” he says, face burning hot.

“That’s definitely a yes, then,” Nicky says, smiling smugly. “See, I told you that’s what all the noise was.”

“Noise?” Jakub asks, but it comes out more like a squeak. “I mean - fuck - were we that loud?”

“The attic isn’t soundproof,” Andre says, biting the inside of his cheek. It’s obvious that he’s trying hard not to laugh. Jakub hates everyone in this house.

Jakub’s saved from responding by Christian appearing at the foot of the stairs. His skin is pale again but when he kisses Jakub, his mouth is warm.

“Why were you all listening, you pervs?” Christian asks as he takes the mug out of Jakub’s hand and prepares Jakub’s tea for him.

“You didn’t give us much choice,” Nicky scoffs.

Andre looks between Jakub and Christian curiously.

“Can you come?” he asks and Christian snorts.

“Getting a bit personal there, Andre.”

Andre turns to Jakub instead. “Can he come?”

“You should ask him,” Jakub says, and then laughs at Andre’s pout.

“Why do you want to know? You gonna find a ghost to fuck also?” Alex asks and Andre puts his hands up in defense.

“I’m just curious!”

Jakub tunes out the bickering that starts between Alex and Andre, accepting his mug when Christian passes it to him. Christian leans against him, almost solid and almost warm. Jakub doesn’t know what it means, but for now, it’s enough to make him smile in content.

\--

**/r/Relationships**

**me (m, 22) and my ghost boyfriend (m, 64) can’t figure out how to fuck.**

_it turns out that dating a ghost has a few setbacks - mainly that sex is fucking hard. sometimes my boyfriend’s body takes a corporeal or semi-corporeal form but we can’t ever pinpoint when or why it happens. it just does. what do we do to have sex? as hot as it is jerking off for each other, we’re ready to try something new. does anyone have any suggestions? have you ever been in similar situation? all advice is welcome!_

_**edit:** my ghost boyfriend wants me to mention that while he is technically 64, his appearance is that of a 24 year old (the age he was when he died) and that he’s not an old man ghost trying to fuck a 22 year old. sorry about the confusion._

**Author's Note:**

>  **Additional Warnings** : This is a ghost fic so one of the major character's is dead. They do not die during the fic. The way the character dies is never discussed. But he's definitely dead because he's a ghost.
> 
> \--
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are very much appreciated. Follow me on twitter or tumblr @tjoshov for more nonsense.


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